The Money Box

  Produced by David Widger

  ODD CRAFT

  BY

  W. W. JACOBS

  1909

  THE MONEY-BOX

  Sailormen are not good 'ands at saving money as a rule, said thenight-watchman, as he wistfully toyed with a bad shilling on hiswatch-chain, though to 'ear 'em talk of saving when they're at seaand there isn't a pub within a thousand miles of 'em, you might thinkdifferent.

  "Sailormen are not good 'ands at saving money as a rule."]

  It ain't for the want of trying either with some of 'em, and I've knownmen do all sorts o' things as soon as they was paid off, with a view tosaving. I knew one man as used to keep all but a shilling or two in abelt next to 'is skin so that he couldn't get at it easy, but it was allno good. He was always running short in the most inconvenient places.I've seen 'im wriggle for five minutes right off, with a tramcarconductor standing over 'im and the other people in the tram readingtheir papers with one eye and watching him with the other.

  Ginger Dick and Peter Russet--two men I've spoke of to you afore--triedto save their money once. They'd got so sick and tired of spending itall in p'r'aps a week or ten days arter coming ashore, and 'aving to goto sea agin sooner than they 'ad intended, that they determined some wayor other to 'ave things different.

  They was homeward bound on a steamer from Melbourne when they made theirminds up; and Isaac Lunn, the oldest fireman aboard--a very steady oldteetotaler--gave them a lot of good advice about it. They all wanted torejoin the ship when she sailed agin, and 'e offered to take a roomashore with them and mind their money, giving 'em what 'e called amoderate amount each day.

  They would ha' laughed at any other man, but they knew that old Isaac wasas honest as could be and that their money would be safe with 'im, and atlast, after a lot of palaver, they wrote out a paper saying as they werewilling for 'im to 'ave their money and give it to 'em bit by bit, tillthey went to sea agin.

  Anybody but Ginger Dick and Peter Russet or a fool would ha' known betterthan to do such a thing, but old Isaac 'ad got such a oily tongue andseemed so fair-minded about wot 'e called moderate drinking that theynever thought wot they was letting themselves in for, and when they tooktheir pay--close on sixteen pounds each--they put the odd change in theirpockets and 'anded the rest over to him.

  The first day they was as pleased as Punch. Old Isaac got a nice,respectable bedroom for them all, and arter they'd 'ad a few drinks theyhumoured 'im by 'aving a nice 'ot cup o' tea, and then goin' off with 'imto see a magic-lantern performance.

  It was called "The Drunkard's Downfall," and it begun with a young mangoing into a nice-looking pub and being served by a nice-looking barmaidwith a glass of ale. Then it got on to 'arf pints and pints in the nextpicture, and arter Ginger 'ad seen the lost young man put away six pintsin about 'arf a minute, 'e got such a raging thirst on 'im that 'ecouldn't sit still, and 'e whispered to Peter Russet to go out with 'im.

  "You'll lose the best of it if you go now," ses old Isaac, in a whisper;"in the next picture there's little frogs and devils sitting on the edgeof the pot as 'e goes to drink."

  "Ginger Dick got up and nodded to Peter."

  "Arter that 'e kills 'is mother with a razor," ses old Isaac, pleadingwith 'im and 'olding on to 'is coat.

  Ginger Dick sat down agin, and when the murder was over 'e said it made'im feel faint, and 'im and Peter Russet went out for a breath of freshair. They 'ad three at the first place, and then they moved on toanother and forgot all about Isaac and the dissolving views until teno'clock, when Ginger, who 'ad been very liberal to some friends 'e'd madein a pub, found 'e'd spent 'is last penny.

  "This comes o' listening to a parcel o' teetotalers," 'e ses, very cross,when 'e found that Peter 'ad spent all 'is money too. "Here we are justbeginning the evening and not a farthing in our pockets."

  They went off 'ome in a very bad temper. Old Isaac was asleep in 'isbed, and when they woke 'im up and said that they was going to takecharge of their money themselves 'e kept dropping off to sleep agin andsnoring that 'ard they could scarcely hear themselves speak. Then Petertipped Ginger a wink and pointed to Isaac's trousers, which were 'angingover the foot of the bed.

  Ginger Dick smiled and took 'em up softly, and Peter Russet smiled too;but 'e wasn't best pleased to see old Isaac a-smiling in 'is sleep, asthough 'e was 'aving amusing dreams. All Ginger found was a ha'-penny, abunch o' keys, and a cough lozenge. In the coat and waistcoat 'e found afew tracks folded up, a broken pen-knife, a ball of string, and someother rubbish. Then 'e set down on the foot o' their bed and made eyesover at Peter.

  "Wake 'im up agin," ses Peter, in a temper.

  Ginger Dick got up and, leaning over the bed, took old Isaac by theshoulders and shook 'im as if 'e'd been a bottle o' medicine.

  "Time to get up, lads?" ses old Isaac, putting one leg out o' bed.

  "No, it ain't," ses Ginger, very rough; "we ain't been to bed yet. Wewant our money back."

  Isaac drew 'is leg back into bed agin. "Goo' night," he ses, and fellfast asleep.

  "He's shamming, that's wot 'e is," ses Peter Russet. "Let's look for it.It must be in the room somewhere."

  They turned the room upside down pretty near, and then Ginger Dick strucka match and looked up the chimney, but all 'e found was that it 'adn'tbeen swept for about twenty years, and wot with temper and soot 'e lookedso frightful that Peter was arf afraid of 'im.

  "I've 'ad enough of this," ses Ginger, running up to the bed and 'oldinghis sooty fist under old Isaac's nose. "Now, then, where's that money?If you don't give us our money, our 'ard-earned money, inside o' twominutes, I'll break every bone in your body."

  "This is wot comes o' trying to do you a favour, Ginger," ses the oldman, reproachfully.

  "Don't talk to me," ses Ginger, "cos I won't have it. Come on; where isit?"

  Old Isaac looked at 'im, and then he gave a sigh and got up and put on'is boots and 'is trousers.

  "I thought I should 'ave a little trouble with you," he ses, slowly, "butI was prepared for that."

  "You'll 'ave more if you don't hurry up," ses Ginger, glaring at 'im.

  "We don't want to 'urt you, Isaac," ses Peter Russet, "we on'y want ourmoney."

  "I know that," ses Isaac; "you keep still, Peter, and see fair-play, andI'll knock you silly arterwards."

  He pushed some o' the things into a corner and then 'e spat on 'is 'ands,and began to prance up and down, and duck 'is 'ead about and hit the airin a way that surprised 'em.

  "I ain't hit a man for five years," 'e ses, still dancing up and down--"fighting's sinful except in a good cause--but afore I got a new 'art,Ginger, I'd lick three men like you afore breakfast, just to git up aappetite."

  "I ain't hit a man for five years," 'e ses, still dancingup and down."]

  "Look, 'ere," ses Ginger; "you're an old man and I don't want to 'urtyou; tell us where our money is, our 'ard-earned money, and I won't lay afinger on you."

  "I'm taking care of it for you," ses the old man.

  Ginger Dick gave a howl and rushed at him, and the next moment Isaac'sfist shot out and give 'im a drive that sent 'im spinning across the roomuntil 'e fell in a heap in the fireplace. It was like a kick from a'orse, and Peter looked very serious as 'e picked 'im up and dusted 'imdown.

  "You should keep your eye on 'is fist," he ses, sharply.

  It was a silly thing to say, seeing that that was just wot 'ad 'appened,and Ginger told 'im wot 'e'd do for 'im when 'e'd finished with Isaac.He went at the old man agin, but 'e never 'ad a chance, and in aboutthree minutes 'e was very glad to let Peter 'elp 'im into bed.

  "It's your turn to fight him now, Peter," he ses. "Just move this pillerso as I can see."

  "Come on, lad," ses the old man.

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