An Adulteration Act Read online

hear? Start and cook the breakfast,Mr. Doctor; and you. Mr. Lawyer, turn to and ask the boy to teach you anA. B's duties."

  He walked back to the cabin; and the new cook was slowly pushed towardthe galley by the second officer, the new A. B., under the same gentleguidance, being conducted back to the forecastle.

  Fortunately for the new seamen the weather continued fine, but the heatof the galley was declared by the new cook to be insupportable. From theother hands they learned that they had been shipped with several othersby a resourceful boarding-house master. The other hands, being men ofplain speech, also said that they were brought aboard in a state ofbeastly and enviable intoxication, and chaffed crudely when the doctorattributed their apparent state of intoxication to drugs.

  "You say you're a doctor?" said the oldest seaman.

  "I am," said Carson, fiercely.

  "Wot sort of a doctor are you, if you don't know when your licker's beenplayed with, then?" asked the old man, as a grin passed slowly from mouthto mouth.

  "I suppose it is because I drink so seldom," said the doctor, loftily."I hardly know the taste of liquor myself, while as for my friend Mr.Thomson, you might almost call him a teetotaler.

  "Next door to one," said the solicitor, who was sewing a patch on histrousers, as he looked up approvingly.

  "You might call 'im a sailor, if you liked," said another seaman, "butthat wouldn't make him one. All I can say is I never 'ad enough time ormoney to get in the state you was both in when you come aboard."

  If the forecastle was incredulous, the cabin was worse. The officers atfirst took but little notice of them, but feeling their torn and tatteredappearance was against them, they put on so many airs and graces tocounteract this that flesh and blood could not endure it quietly. Thecook would allude to his friend as Mr. Thomson, while the A. B. wouldpersist in referring, with a most affected utterance, to Dr. Carson.

  "Cook!" bawled the skipper one day when they were about a week out.

  Dr. Carson, who was peeling potatoes, stepped slowly out of the galleyand went toward him.

  "You say 'Sir,' when you're spoken to," said the skipper, fiercely.

  The doctor sneered.

  "My --- if you sneer at me, I'll knock your head off!" said the other,with a wicked look.

  "When you get back to Melbourne," said the doctor, quietly, "you'll hearmore of this."

  "You're a couple of pickpockets aping the gentleman," said the skipper,and he turned to the mate. "Mr. Mackenzie, what do these two ragamuffinslook like?"

  "Pickpockets," said the mate, dutifully.

  "It's a very handy thing," said the old man, jeeringly, "to have a doctoraboard. First time I've carried a surgeon."

  Mr. Mackenzie guffawed loudly.

  "And a solicitor," said the skipper, gazing darkly at the hapless HarryThomson, who was cleaning brasswork. "Handy in case of disputes. He's areal sea lawyer. _Cook!_"

  "Sir?" said the doctor, quietly.

  "Go down and tidy my cabin, and see you do it well."

  The doctor went below without a word, and worked like a housemaid. Whenhe came on deck again, his face wore a smile almost of happiness, and hishand caressed one trousers pocket as though it concealed a hidden weapon.

  For the following three or four days the two unfortunates were workedunceasingly. Mr. Thomson complained bitterly, but the cook wore asphinx-like smile and tried to comfort him.

  "It won't be for long, Harry," he said, consolingly.

  The solicitor sniffed. "I could write tract after tract on temperance,"he said, bitterly. "I wonder what our poor wives are thinking? I expectthey have put us down as dead."

  "Crying their eyes out," said the doctor, wistfully; "but they'll drythem precious quick when we get back, and ask all sorts of questions.What are you going to say, Harry?"

  "The truth," said the solicitor, virtuously.

  "So am I," said his friend; "but mind, we must both tell the same tale,whatever it is. Halloa! what's the matter?"

  "It's the skipper," said the boy, who had just run up; "he wants to seeyou at once. He's dying."

  He caught hold of the doctor by the sleeve; but Carson, in his mostprofessional manner, declined to be hurried. He went leisurely down thecompanion-ladder, and met with a careless glance the concerned faces ofthe mate and second officer.

  "Come to the skipper at once," said the mate.

  "Does he want to see me?" said the doctor, languidly, as he entered thecabin.

  The skipper was lying doubled up in his bunk, his face twisted with pain."Doctor," he panted, "give me something quick. There's the medicine-chest."

  "Do you want some food, sir?" inquired the other, respectfully.

  "Food be damned!" said the sufferer. "I want physic. There's themedicine-chest." The doctor took it up and held it out to him. "I don'twant the lot," moaned the skipper.

  "I want you to give me something for red-hot corkscrews in the inside."

  "I beg your pardon," said the doctor, humbly; "I'm only the cook."

  "If you--don't--prescribe for me at once," said the skipper, "I'll putyou in irons."

  The doctor shook his head. "I shipped as cook," he said, slowly.

  "Give me something, for Heaven's sake!" said the skipper, humbly. "I'mdying." The doctor pondered.

  "If you dinna treat him at once, I'll break your skull," said the mate,persuasively.

  The doctor regarded him scornfully, and turned to the writhing skipper.

  "My fee is half a guinea a visit," he said, softly; "five shillings ifyou come to me."

  "I'll have half a guinea's worth," said the agonized skipper.

  The doctor took his wrist, and calmly drew the second officer's watchfrom its owner's pocket. Then he inspected the sick man's tongue, andshaking his head, selected a powder from the chest.

  "You mustn't mind its being nasty," he said. "Where's a spoon?"

  He looked round for one, but the skipper took the powder from his hand,and licked it from the paper as though it had been sherbet.

  "For mercy's sake don't say it's cholera," he gasped.

  "I won't say anything," said the doctor. "Where did you say the moneywas?"

  The skipper pointed to his trousers, and Mr. Mackenzie, his nationalspirit rising in hot rage, took out the agreed amount and handed it tothe physician.

  "Am I in danger?" said the skipper.

  "There's always danger," said the doctor, in his best bedside manner."Have you made your will?"

  The other, turning pale, shook his head. "Perhaps you'd like to see asolicitor?" said Carson, in winning tones.

  "I'm not bad enough for that," said the skipper, stoutly.

  "You must stay here and nurse the skipper, Mr. Mackenzie," said Carson,turning to the mate; "and be good enough not to make that snufflingnoise; it's worrying to an invalid."

  "Snuffling noise?" repeated the horror-struck mate.

  "Yes; you've got an unpleasant habit of snuffling," said the doctor; "itsometimes. I worries me meant to speak to you about it before. Youmustn't do it here. If you want to snuffle, go and snuffle on deck."

  The frenzied outburst of the mate was interrupted by the skipper. "Don'tmake that noise in my cabin, Mr. Mackenzie," he said, severely.

  Both mates withdrew in dudgeon, and Carson, after arranging thesufferer's bedclothes, quitted the cabin and sought his friend. Mr.Thomson was at first incredulous, but his eyes glistened brightly at thesight of the half-sovereign.

  "Better hide it," he said, apprehensively; "the skipper 'll have it backwhen he gets well; it's the only coin we've got."

  "He won't get well," said Dr. Carson, easily; "not till we get to Hong-kong, that is."

  "What's the matter with him?" whispered the solicitor.

  The doctor, evading his eye, pulled a long face and shook his head. "Itmay be the cooking," he said, slowly. "I'm not a good cook, I admit. Itmight be something got into the food from the medicine-chest. Ishouldn't be at all surprised if
the mates are taken bad too."

  And indeed at that very moment the boy came rushing to the galley again,bawling out that Mr. Mackenzie was lying flat on his stomach in his bunk,punching the air with his fists and rending it with his language. Thesecond officer appeared on deck as he finished his tale, and glancingforward, called out loudly